Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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