I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
