I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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