Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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