we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
