Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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