he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
