I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Houston, we have a blender
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
