Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
