if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
