Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
