i just had sex bonerless
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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