She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
