he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
nutella sex= disaster
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
