i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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