Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
