I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
