Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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