drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
