She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
