can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
