butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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