Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
