so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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