I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
