we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
