if i can run in heels then i can drive
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
whose ass print is on the piano?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
