i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
