His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
