I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
