She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
