just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
