She is in my trunk
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
