Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize