conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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