If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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