i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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