Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The ass gains better be worth it
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