I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
