i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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