Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
