i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
