You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
