I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
