i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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