nut hugger
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
