I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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