Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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