her vagine was all disorganized.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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