I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
