p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
