I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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