Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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