At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
