Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
