I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
