just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
