My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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