Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The air taste purple.
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