Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
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You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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