Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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