Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
