This girl is more easily done than said...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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