When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
